it’s been a while

hello to the -1 people who visit this site, i’m sorry for my lack of posts. i have a couple things in my drafts that i’m just finishing but in the meantime i really want to write something that you’ll see today so here that something is.

as of now it’s 10:44 pm. i’m just about to go to bed now that my sleep schedule is a lot better, (barely) ready for another day at school. thankfully i only have 2 lessons at most a day, unfortunately being in school these days is stressful as fuck. it’s gotten a lot better over the (almost) 2 years i’ve been in post-16 education, partly thanks to being able to drop out of one of my courses, and a very big part due to me being able to find ways to calm down my constant stress. i can’t wait for this school crap to all be over, surprisingly enough i’m actually really interested in going into the world of work. i have been since i was around 13 so the fact that i’ll be able to start looking for jobs soon is exciting to me.

but before that happens i have to keep on worrying about school. exams start in just under a week, they don’t end till late June. and i don’t even know why i’m worrying about them because it doesn’t really matter if i pass or fail. but here i am. worrying about them. i wish i could just be freed of this hell so that i can focus on bettering myself without the stress of being at school always lingering, ready to nearly throw me into another panic attack out of nowhere again.

but oh well. that’s where i’ve been. school is almost finished once and for all though! (there’s no way in hell i’m going to uni after this shit.) i’ll continue being as active as my mind will let me be as i’ve figured out that writing here is a really enjoyable thing. it also helps me put my mind off the things that have been torturing me mentally for the past year now.

as of now it’s 11:08 pm. i’m going to bed now. all my lessons are in the morning so i’ll probably be home by 1 pm at the latest. gives me some time to do the things in my life that don’t cause me to panic out of nowhere.

if you’re not a bot and you’ve read this far, thank you.

good night, see you tomorrow :D